Good Morning

Other Ways to do Things 

Morning,Still in that little funk spot, but I have not given up on trying to figure a way past this. I will make it past this and it will make me stronger. I wish the VA would offer other things to help veterans out then push drugs on them all the time. I wish the VA would try different things and not think in the small little box like they do all the time. There are so many things that could possibly help the veteran deal with PTSD better. I have come to realize that when the mind is idol that is when PTSD sneaks in and takes a stronger hold on everything. Maybe if they pushed more on finding a hobby and helping that veteran with that hobby over pushing more and more drugs. What’s that you don’t think the medication is working well lets up the dosage and if that does not help…

Good Morning

Walking Around!

Morning,   I just have not been in the writing mood at all. I have been in this fog like mind. Where it seems like you are just there in life, watching it pass before you. I have not been getting the best of sleep so maybe that is what is causing this fog. Or it could be what seems to be this constant state of hypervigilance I am in all the time. I just seem not be able to relax and enjoy things in life. I have gone thru stuff like this before, but never for this amount of time. I just can’t seem to shake this off or overcome it. Maybe it is time to actually go and see the talking Dr. Oh what fun! I just hate it. No matter how many of them you see, they all seem to say the same shit over and over. What do they think the last…

Good Morning

What Offends ME

Morning,It has been awhile since I wrote. 1. Because I was struggling and didn’t want to write anything. 2. I just didn’t have anything to say. I don’t want to write just to write. I want to write because I want too. I know some of you are thinking well you were struggling why didn’t you write about that? Well, because I didn’t know how to express everything that I was struggling with. I didn’t know the words. It was and still is hell. I am not sure when the last time I got a decent night’s sleep. I am not sure when the last time I had a decent day was. Without wanting to scream, cry, etc. It seems like people now days are being offended by everything and anything. So I thought I will add to it all and make my list what offends me. Maybe we can get it banned or something….

Good Morning

Kidnapping the Sandman

Morning,Well it has been a little while since I last wrote. Would say I am sorry but I am not. I have been struggling with a few things. Some days are better than others but the struggle is always there. I have not been getting much sleep at all. So, I think I am going to kidnap the sandman and hold him hostage for a few days. That is if I can ever get a hold of him. There are people out there that say time heals everything, with time PTSD will get easier and so on and so on. Well I think these people are idiots and are talking out of their rear. It is funny how people that never had PTSD or anything like it think they know how to help and heal you. Then you have the people that say they had it and they cured themselves by doing what you can…

Good Morning

Pissing People Off! 

I am getting so sick and tired of shit! Things are starting to piss me off big time. I am sick of the media. I am sick of people crying saying this and that offended me. I am sick of people thinking they are entitled to the world when they did jack to deserve it. I am sick of people (Washington) telling me what I can and cannot own. I am sick of people! Well gosh dang it. You offend me. You there that one that thinks they are owed. The lazy sob, that one that covers their face, one who thinks they can take my weapons, one who hides behind a screen and talks the talk but never walks the walk. Yeah if any of the above is you. Well you piss me off to all ends and I don’t give a flip if I offend you. You know maybe if the above didn’t…

Good Morning

Hold the Person Accountable!

Morning, Ok I need to get this off my mind. I am so sick of hearing about the events in Charleston, SC yeah it is a sad event yes people died. We don’t blame the person that took the tragic actions. No we blame the guns, the flag, the drugs, the upbringing etc. WHY the hell don’t we blame the idiot who pulled the trigger? The gun didn’t fire itself! The flag well I will get back to that one. Oh it was his upbringing. It was the drugs he did. What happen to where we hold people accountable for their own actions? Last time I checked there is not a gun that fires itself. The drugs don’t jump in your body on their own. I don’t see where the flag was used in this. I don’t see where his parents told him to do it. I do see people that knew about it come…

Good Morning

  Double Edge Sword

Morning,Well it is another warm morning, still no rain in sight. We were supposed to get some last night but we didn’t get anything. We really need the rain. I wish it would stop going around us. It is that time of year again where everything starts to ramp up and get worse all because the day I get injured is approaching. What fun to look forward too? I wish there was a way around it or something. No matter what I do or how hard I try to control it, nothing works. Not even going to the doctors more helps. On the plus side I have noticed that I am starting to be more comfortable talking to people without being mean or a wiseass. Which is a good thing, but then the bad side is, it puts Hero in a spot where people can blame him for more things. Ok, so I was at…

Good Morning

Missing A Few Chapters!!

Good Morning, If you live up north or in Texas or anywhere you are getting rain can you send it down to North Carolina please? I think it is being sent to the wrong address. We need it bad down here. It is going to be another humid one today and HOT in the upper 90-100 range. So drink lots of water no matter where you leave heat issues can sneak up on you. I sit here and wonder. I went looking for upbeat news stories. I found them. But they were not main page or anything. One was about 2 brothers who saved and infant from a burning building. And the other was 4 brothers who mowed a 70 something year olds lawn so she would not go to jail. But what’s top news the past few days? About some Canadian and who he supports in the race for the presidential candidate and not…

Good Morning

The Big UglY Spike

Morning, Well it is already 73 degrees out. Wish it would stay about this temp all day and week so I can get yard work done. All good I bought some flood lights so I am going to try to get some work done after the sun goes down and see if it is cooler that way. I am not sure if this post is going to have anything to do with PTSD or not today. I am just fed up with the media and other people trying to divide this country. Let it be racial background, economic or any other way. I am tired of bending over backwards to please someone. Every race has its good and bad. You learn to not look at ones skin color in the military but how well they can do their job and have your back. I don’t care how much money you grew up with either. We…

Good Morning

Sleepy and beat

Morning, Well another Monday. Oh what fun! Just feeling so run down it is not even funny. Didn’t get much done over this weekend it was just so humid out that it was not even funny. But I need to start sucking it up so I can finish these last few projects that I have going on outside. I can’t believe how much I sweat lately. I have never sweated like this before!! I drip sweat! Maybe it is because I don’t wear shorts! I always wear pants. I don’t like to see the scars on my legs. I don’t think wearing shorts would help much either. My body looks like I just took a shower that’s how wet I get. Well yesterday was the army birthday and the flags birthday! What does that mean anymore? No one cares about it that much anymore. Well at least not the younger generations. I did see an…

Good Morning

The Voices are Calling! 

Voices are in my head, telling me I need to stop slacking off. I need to get more done. I need to be perfect. What’s the use of living if you are not going to be perfect? When you are not perfect things go bad! Voices seem to be getting louder! They won’t go away! A small little pop sets me flying back into combat! The voices tell me to run! Incoming fire! You replay over and over the scenes from combat! The voices! They are telling me to stop the struggle! Just give up on the fight! The stress makes the voices louder! The voices grow stronger the more stress I am under!!  I wish others heard the voices that I hear. Just to tell me that I am not losing it. Just to let me know it is ok! Just tell me I will make it out the other side! It is so…

Good Morning

Do unto others 

Morning, Well it is that dreaded day of the week. Monday when we have to go back to the grind of that lovely thing called work. Mondays seem to be one of the worst days of the week, not sure why that is. Maybe it is just the rough time of getting out of bed, or the soreness from pushing myself to the limit over the weekend. The bills must be paid, so got to work to get them paid. I do my best not to stick out even when I have Hero with me. I try to stay out of site and out of mind. But it seems to never fail; I stick out like a sore thumb. Some of the time it is not too bad, other times I just wish I could crawl into the closest hole possible. Yes I have a service dog. No I am not blind; no you can’t…

Good Morning

Turn around

Morning,Well the rain was good. Need more of it. Ground is still hard as a rock just the surface is wet. It needs a slow steady rain so it can sink in not this hard and fast stuff where it does not have time to sink in. But that is life. I will keep plugging away at the garden and everything else. I am going to get on my soap box today! I am just sick of this stupid shit. I don’t give a hoot who is getting a sex change, I don’t care what reality star did what. I don’t give a shit about any actor or actress. I am just sick of people turning their backs on veterans. I have sent emails and everything out to some “famous” people who use to be in the military asking them to help promote Telephone A Veteran Tuesday! #TAVT and I get no reply! It just…

Good Morning

An average day with someone with PTSD

Morning,Well I guess I should have been clear about wanting rain. Last night we got rain, along with 60mph wind gusts and hail. Next time I want a slow drizzle so the ground can soak it all up better. Tonight I need to go around and make sure nothing got damaged. Well it is PTSD awareness month so I thought I would take you through an average day of mine.                 5am get up and get ready for       work                 530 leave the house for work                 6am get in and start work                 8am take Hero out to potty                 1030 take Hero out to potty                 12pm take…

Good Morning

IT ONLY TAKES A COUPLE OF SECONDS TO SAVE A LIFE!!

Some people die in battle.Some are never found. Some come home totally fine. Some physically come back but never make it back mentally. June is PTSD awareness month. Don’t ask me why we need special days, months to point out something we should care about every day of the year. I know I have been promising to come out with shirts and such and other things. I just have a lot on my plate right now with work and home life. I have not forgotten about it, also trying to find someone to work with me on this type of thing. PTSD awareness month, I don’t see any ads on tv about it. I don’t see the VA making a big deal about it like they do when they are looking for nurses and such. I don’t see the MLB, NFL, NHL etc making a big deal about it like they do with breast cancer….

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